~This page will list links to characters that aren't "real" people.~
{the classic characters}
***JEN**: One of the original "creators" of the stories that decided to haunt the authors (and their friends) for the rest of their lives. She is evil (or tries as hard as she can to be so). She was also the one who started the YEARS long conspiracy of witchcraft against the accused Alex. She owns a stalking list. But there's only one person on it…Supposed owner of Killer Rabbit (she likes to think so to spite John) her greatest fun is pissing her friends off.
***ALEX**: She joined the original authors after a few months of the story's first creation… all the way back in 8th grade (zomg). She was accused of witchcraft (a stigma that will follow her to the end of her days) and she has tried many times to run away from her friends… only to be chased down, tied to train tracks and forced into friendship once again. Alex Can never get off Jen's stalking list, after all. = )
***AMY**: Again, one of the original-original creators of the Stories saga. She is the long-lost confidente of the Chicken Nugget in a Trench Coat, and used to see evil monkeys on the ceiling in freshman World History (but anyone who had Mr. Forbes for World History would rather talk to the evil monkeys on the ceiling). Amy is one of the evilest of them all. But she doesn't own a funny hat. She'd be much more evil and confusing with one of those.
***SALLY**: Karate master. Dojo owner. Long time friend of the three above. She is all powerful and has many mysterious powers that are yet to be cataloged (or even discovered). One power she seems to have in everyone's favor is the ability to resurrect her friends from the dead— something that was left over from previous story attempts. This is beneficial, since when an author gets bored (or has no idea what to write next), everyone eventually gets killed off. Thank god for Sally, if she were not with us, then we would never find Hawaii.
***KILLER BUNNY**: Taken directly from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, this bunny's name explains everything. Ergo, there is nothing left to say.
***CHICKEN NUGGET IN A TRENCH COAT (aka CNIATC)**: Who knows when this mysterious (albeit "intriguingly handsome") character came into the story. Perhaps he has been there since the beginning. Perhaps even before the beginning. Perhaps even before creation.
OH-MY-GOD, HE'S GAWD!!!
***DIABLOS**: (aka evil 7th grade science teacher du Alex; and even MORE evil 8th grade history teacher du Amy, Jen, Sally and Alex). He has been missing from the Stories for a while, but he HATH RETURNED. He is, as his name suggests, the devil (although affectionately deemed such).
***FLUFFY & EVIL**: Randomly appear; stars of an infamous cartoon "strip" written and created by Amy and Jen. Track people and random villains that pop in/out when most appropriate. They own a castle. And a dragon with a name that's impossible to pronounce (though WHERE they came up with the dragon is questionable…. grumble.grumble.)
***NICHOLE**: Only a recent addition to the story. She had the misfortune of writing in the last story and, since this one is seeming to track down and haunt the authors of once-were, she was sucked into Never More as the story continues. She has known these people for a unsurmountable amount of time because no one knows exactly when she met said other characters; she just EXISTS. In the Grand Stories, the story in which this wonderfull website was named, Nichole had secured a more fixed roll in the stories and as one of the authors. She may not be one of the origionals, but we like her.
***JOHN**: {aaah, what could we say about John?} He has been prisoner of these four people since he was a freshman in high school (surely he will rue the day he ran into these silly ninnies). He is the attempted owner of the Killer Bunny… which is hilarious, since the Killer Bunny belongs to NO ONE. He is an evil, conniving engineer who threatens to take over the world with his own Trojan Horse. He claims he has nothing to do with the stories. But he's here. And he's in them…
***KATIE**: A long lost friend since found, Katie has rejoined the Group of Evil-ness and, as such, has joined our friend ranks for life. She might try to escape. But she can't. Her adorable, cat-like personality has won everyone over and bent them to her will.
{Newest Characters}
These are people in our group of friends here in college, and they each add a wonderful 'flavor' to the group as a whole. = )
***GEOFF**: One of the newest characters to the stories. He is a new friend to our little insanity-fueled group and he seems to fit in well. He loves evil things, laughing maniacally and conducting weird, pushing-the-boundaries experiments on his friends.
***ANDREW**: Our battle-loving fiend. His cry is simply, "BATTLING!" that comes equipped with a special hand gesture as he charges forward like the Viking blood charging through his veins commands. However, despite what you might believe, Andrew rarely seeks out pain, and he is very gentle for a person who thrives on fighting. He also has perfect comedic timing and the most epic facial expressions.
***Yusef**: John calls him a dirty sand monkey, but he's actually a nice guy. He's very smart, but like most smart people, does some really stupid shit sometimes.
***Matt**: Poor Matt has gotten a lot of shit from the group. Why? Not because he lives under a bridge and eats children..ok, maybe partially for that…but being the opposite of Andrew (with perfect comedic timing) Matt is usually three minutes behind the joke, so it often comes at the wrong time. Despite this, Matt is apart of what makes our group of friends whole.
***Ian**: Ian enjoys acting creepy.
***Ron**: One of the more sarcastic members of the group, he delights in all things trendy.
***Will**: Definitely one of the "higher ups" on the Sarcasm-o-Meter, Will enjoys drinking, The Green Bay Packers, WoW and hanging out with friends. He also is a bit of a ladies man and loves to go to the gym and the OT Club House with Ron to check out las señoras calientes.
***Jamie**: See Bill's description [below], but a lot less subtle about his advances and interests. He belongs to a legitimate, modern-day swinger's club and is dating Ali's wife. You know those grandpas with all of these weird and crazy stories about the sex life they had? Jamie's already like this, and the stories he could tell would shock you..or..inspire
***Bill**: A sex fiend! Bill is very suave, and seems to enjoy chasing the girls. Everything can be made into a sex joke, and he enjoys people telling stories(and sharing stories).
***Cam**: He is the Dark Lord Cameron, and he enjoys insulting everyone.
***Todd**: Todd has a never ending supply of energy. He is much like the Todd from Scrubs, and enjoys sex jokes..a little too much…
***Stephany**: Stephany has an in-your-face attitude that is admired. She's funny, enjoys checking out cute boys and is best friends with Todd.
***Nate**: Nate is the newest addition to the group. One day he followed Alex, Katie and Jen to Call of Cthulhu, and now he is stuck with us forever. He tries to be evil, but he's much too nice to pull the evil look off. People have told him he's too full of puppies and rainbows…Nate's also been told by five people (six, after Ali made her contribution to the stats) that he was perfect.
***Tiffany**: Whore.
***Nick**: Also known as Saba, has very beautiful hair, that Katie wants to steal in his sleep. It's hard to tell if he's serious or not, as he is very insulting and sarcastic. He has a very 'bad boy' persona.
***Evans**: He is a never ending supply of jokes and hugs. He has talent, and taught himself guitar, but not talented enough to get the group to do anything. Because we're lazy.
***Whitney**: Whitney loves wolves, and if she had one she would name it Fluffy. She is epic at Egyptian war, and always has something amazing to say.
***Josh Thibeault**: He used to be a councilor in the girl scouts, and he acts like a puppy. He's a cool dude.
***Josh**: Jen's little brother. He is also plotting to take over the world, and has a squirrel army. (hence making him mortal enemies with Katie) He aspires to be a hermit, and wants to open up his own jazz bar.
{less-so classical}
***CASEY & HEATHER**: CASEY= Jen's ex. HEATHER= Alex's ex-girlfriend. The three seemed to "mysteriously disappear" as the Grand Story story continued… will they return!?!
***Darcy**: A new addition to our stories. A friend of Alex and Jen in high school, Jen opted to included her as a means of staying in contact. Darcy is a sweet and friendly person, so we have no idea what she's doing hanging around social misfits like Jen and Alex. Lawl. We hope she'll stay with the stories. ^^
{TO FELLOW AUTHORS: add characters as you deem fit; as well as adding more description and info as needed…}
