It Is Nates Fault

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Here is a list of things that are Nate's fault since he is away this semester. Also, most of them are Ali's fault, and a few can be attributed to Jen. All told, very few of these are actually Nate's fault.

  • He stole all of the items on the 'It is Nates Fault' list and then put them back1
  • It rained today.
  • There were three dead squirrels in the road2
  • The Union Market Place has changed and it sucks now
  • Swine Flu has been reported at school
  • There were a lot of tests this week
  • They were advertising scientology in the school news paper.
  • When the guy who sells flags came to school, he didn't have a Welsh flag for sale
  • The religious people came to school and told a bunch of people they're going to hell.
  • There were no trays at the union during lunch hour that were clean
  • I didn't have any pie on Thanksgiving
  • We ran out of hot water!
  • The power flickered last night.
  • It's really windy today.
  • It snowed and then immediatly melted.
  • Jen went adventuring in the woods and didn't find any bears.
  • Aids. (totally Nate's fault, he should quit genetic engineering while he's ahead)
  • The Japanese enjoy killing whales and dolphins
  • The cat won't shut up. ><
  • We ran out of straws at work.
  • We wanted to go star gazing, but a full moon was out.
  • Ali died.
  • The interns aren't showing up to work and Katie has to work their shifts and she doesn't get paid for it because they're stupid interns
  • Jen got a bad grade on her math test
  • Katie is stuck at school until 5
  • Katie has a doctors appointment
  • Jen's wisdom teeth want to grow but they can not for their is no room.
  • Ali is sick.
  • Nate is stupid. (this is with out a doubt Nate's fault)
  • Ali's ex boyfriend is an asshole
  • There was a tack on the floor
  • There are no stampeding herds of buffalo on campus.
  • There are no bears on campus
  • We have not seen any moose this year
  • there are too many deer
  • the great flood.
  • a snake bit me in my dream
  • ali is having a hard time coming up with story ideas
  • everything on failblog
  • Jen doesn't know what to write next in the stories
  • Nate's creepy roomate is taking up the whole table in Kennebec lobby
  • Nate's creepy roomate only abandoned the table after Ali left for work
  • Ali and Jen made Nate a present but he's more then an hour away so we had to burn it.
  • It's AMAZING out, but we have to stay inside and study
  • creationists. (really Nate, how could you?)
  • Jen confused Ali in trying to explain something..that was Nate related.
  • Nate introduced Jen and Ali to each other
  • Nate is under the delusion that he's Superman.
  • Jen is now addicted to DBZ abridged.
  • Nate got Jen and Ali addicted to The Guild.
  • Every time Nate sends Ali a text, she doesn't notice it half the time because her phone restarts whenever she receives it.
  • John scared Ali on her way out of Barrows this morning.
  • Sometimes Nate uses his "shutty off-y the Ali's phoney" when Steph texts her, too. Verrrry suspicious.
  • Nate didn't wanna go to work today
  • It has been rather hot and muggy outside
  • Jen lost her ipod
  • Steph and Max had never even heard of the movie Willow. (seriously, live under a rock much?)
  • Steph and Max didn't like the movie Willow. (seriously, midget racist, much?)
  • Ali still hasn't rewatched the 10th Kingdom
  • Ali feels guilty Facebook stalking…even though she's Facebook stalking really, really cute science boys.
  • Ali had a headache earlier so she and Jen couldn't properly explore the bike path near Wouldbe
  • Steph and Max stole the TV from Jen and Ali
  • Ali wants to write but can't think of anything super special awesome
  • Tom Hanks reminds Ali of Ian.
  • Ali got in an auto accident outside her house.
  • Ali is having lots of bad luck lately. She thinks it's more delayed bad luck for when Lord Vegeta was pissed at her and kept walking across her path….but still. It's Nate's fault.
  • The gas pump at Irving in Orono didn't auto shut off when the tank was filled so gasoline got all over Cam's vehicle and his shorts. :(
  • Tiffany and Nichole didn't understand that "no, I'm no longer going to Denny's" actually meant that Ali wasn't going to Denny's. So they got upset with her for not showing up.
  • Ali almost scratched this woman's eyes out because she got yelled at for spelling the customer's last name wrong. But seriously: Who spells McGary with TWO R's? And how is she supposed to know, after working for more than 8 hours, that a woman who lost her cell phone would get upset with her because she missed an "r". Jesus. Sorry I know someone who spells his last name with only ONE R. Bitch.3
  • The TV remote fell off the arm of the couch and Ali said, "nice job" and was just staring at the floor, not blaming anyone. It was Caspian who actually dropped it because he was jumping off of Nate's lap, but Nate took offense to Ali's words. So it was really Nate who dropped the remote. Because he felt guilty. The End.
  • When Matt and Ali were leaving Bangor after the 4th of July fireworks, there were cars lined up down a couple blocks. Ali kept joking around and tried to convince Matt they were going to be stuck there forever. But as soon as Matt started the car and turned on his blinker, a woman in a car behind Matt's let them merge into traffic. Then Matt laughed at Ali.
  • Nichole is a bitch.
  • Ali has misplaced her Win. She and Nichole have a theory that she lost it in a Bag of Holding, to which Nate is obviously responsible for stealing.
  • Nate's dragon is too small. That's more fact than fault, but it's also hilarious.
  • Ali's desk toys keep moving on their own. Spock continues to move steadily away from Sheldon each day and it's creepy.
  • Matt's espresso machine makes scary noises.
  • Ali ate the Krypton element cupcake and didn't have any reaction to it.
  • Jason asked Ali to work the overnight shift at work because they were short on people. But she had to turn the offer down (even though she's always kinda wanted to do it) because she wanted to go biking with her friends through the forest the next day.
  • There were Canadians attending the 4th of July fireworks.
  • Nichole tried to make Ali fall off the hammock while she was swinging.
  • Jen's hammock was wet when Nichole tried to sit in it.
  • Ali doesn't have a cop friend. And Ali won't go to the OTPD to ask them random questions in the fear they would find her suspicious.
  • Ali's email wouldn't let her see the comic Matt sent her.
  • The watermelon has seeds in it.
  • John and Nate tried to wrap Ali in the hammock like a cocoon when she abandoned them to be outside.
  • The visitor cat keeps killing chipmunks.
  • Kai is anemic.
  • Customers keep telling Ali "god bless you" when they're thankful for her help. It makes her uncomfortable.
  • Ali is going to miss her friends when she leaves Maine.
  • A creepy customer called Kohl's yesterday and talked to one of the associates about skimpy clothes for his step-daughter.
  • Wouldbe's neighbors are loud and have screaming fetishes.
  • There are no palm trees in Maine.
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