The Epic Return Of Cniatc
Table of Contents


From Sunday onward things were just not the same.

The fish started to get seasick and it seemed that the whole purpose of human existence had just faded through the cracks.

Things weren't normal anymore.

When you sat down to think about it you'd eventually come up with a theory. A lot of people did. Some tried to blame the androids — but what would that do? They were hardly sentient outside of a television program. The best AI on earth could only recognize facial expressions. Hardly life-shattering.

Some blamed video games. But, let's face it, someone always blames video games or a TV show or the mass media. And certainly the mass media was to blame for a lot…but not this.

Some conspiracy theorists claimed it was the government. But quite frankly, upon hearing the so-called truths spoken by the conspiracy theorists, most politicians kick themselves for not thinking up that same convoluted theory first.

So in the end, the citizens (in this case homo sapiens) of the planet Earth, third planet from the sun in the galaxy named after a well-known candy bar, spent days trying to ascertain the reason things felt so different.

And, try as they might, they could not come up with a reasonable answer.

So they turned to god.

And god said, "Fuck off."

But this is not the story of that event. Quite frankly, a story involving god would just go downhill from the beginning. So we will start at the true beginning.


A scene is set.

A small town in southern Maine (it's not part of Canada).

A creature is born out of the villainous minds of four students in one frog-loving teacher's English class.

Unbeknownst to the students (who happen to be four girls), that day changed the fate of the rest of the world.


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