Zombie Diaries

This started in honor of HvZ ("Humans vs. Zombies") that's being played on the UMaine campus of Spring semester, 2009.

Before You Start Reading!: This is cheesy. It's MEANT to be cheesy. So no attacks on the writing style for sticking to its purpose, alright? Thank you. ^^

Stories Told by An Immune.

Story 1: My Best Friend's a Zombie

(represented: Mr. J.E. Hadley, Mr. G. Taylor, Mr. J. Murray)
It was a strange event that brought this on. There were people around us that were becoming zombies. We saw it on the news: people rampaging the streets. There were even mock-posters hanging up across town: "WANTED: ZOMBIES!" and "The Zombie Mafia wants YOU"; with a cheesy photoshop'd picture of a corpsified Stalin looking like Uncle Sam.

We always had the same thought through all this: it was never going to happen to us. No, the rest of the world would turn into zombies, but we and our friends would stay safe.

We were wrong.

We were unDEAD wrong.

There was one of us that got infected first. He was a cool kid when he was alive; sweet, even. But once he got sick, he attacked. He nearly got a few of us, but we were able to run away. Later, he did manage to get one of us— one of the quicker ones. He's chaotic evil at its finest, and now he's with them.

And now my best friend is infected as well. The zombies are taking over fast— faster than expected. This doesn't look good for the humans. They have too many good hunters on their team now. It's only a matter of time…



I must go now. It could be dangerous. They could be watching.

/signs off.

Story 2: Attack During the Night

(represented: Ms. K. Wowk, Mr. J. Murray, Ms. J. Hussey)

It was nearly midnight and I was housing a human in my room. I was protecting her for the night and we were talking back and forth when, all of a sudden, the conversation ceased. When asked what was wrong, she admitted that she could hear a zombie cross the hall in front of my room. On alert, I rushed out and ran down the hall to attack said zombie. Once he was aware of my human's presence, he ran down the hall to scare her. She remained safe since he could not claim a kill within the building, but he did not resist taunting her a while. He continued to clamber for her brains until his handler came and ushered him away.

The human was safe and secure for a while and was assured the zombie would not come back for her. She remains safe…for now.

Story 3: Couchlair Gets Converted

(represented: ….normal couchland inhabitants)

Couchlair, a once-prominant hangout for humans, now has conflict raging. Zombies have been converted out of couchlair inhabitants. Humans have started tensing up whenever a zombie comes near, and it seems that segregation has started to form. Once friends, zombies and humans have split up into two distinct groups. The humans have been watching their backs and keeping other humans around for protection. There is no human that dares go anywhere alone. It is also a wonder that trust is being enforced within humans, for it's never known when one of your friends will become the next zombie. The zombies are also well organized and have eyes and ears everywhere.

Story 3.5: Zombie Numbers

The zombies are gathering strength in numbers ever more quickly, and it's only a matter of time before there are only a handful of zombies left. Until then, I will continue to root for the humans and wish them the best of luck.

Story 4: Immunity Reigns

(represented: Mr. J.A. Hadley, Mr. G. Taylor)

I nearly got tagged myself, and I have only myself to blame. I was taunting a zombie. But I couldn't help it.

Walking into couchlair, I found a zombie I used to know as a human. We were friends, even. I admit that curiosity got the better of me, so I poked him. He turned and stared at me for several seconds while I stood, frozen, not sure what was going to happen next. The anticipation was finally killed when he poked me and declared me a zombie. I told him I had immunity, but he tried to turn me again. Before he could continue his attacks, I walked off.

After this incident, I ran into another zombie and relayed this ordeal. He, too, tried to convert me into being apart of the zombie masses, but my immunity remained true. In the end, I suppose this could mean I am an honorary zombie….but we shall see. I will play forth this immunity and poke zombies and humans alike. Muahahaha.

Story 5: Douchebag Moves

(represented: Mr. E. Goff, Mr. A. Nonymous)

This was a horrific tale that was relayed to me via a friend of mine, who is a human. While having a conversation with my human friend (different than the friend whom I housed the night before), I heard this post-human come over past Couchlair in a rage. He was pissed and, after learning that my human friend had information on his background story, I had to ask. Apparently, the angry human was in such an emotional state because he was tackled outside by a zombie. Three or four zombies were stalking him as he walked outside the Union and tackled him out the door so they could convert him.

From what I learned, the angry human was going to plead for his life back and call "shinanigans" on the whole ordeal. Best of luck to him for regaining his humanity. For the zombies who did it: you guys suck.

Story 6: Narrowly Missing Mortification

(represented: Mr. A. Rasmussen, Mr. J.E. Hadley)

Yet another human friend of mine was sitting in northern Couchlair and doing homework when I approached him. This human friend was disappointed when I had seen him earlier in the day because he had not seen or encountered a zombie the entire morning. When I asked about his progress as a human, he conveyed to me that he narrowly missed losing his humanity to one of the original zombies. The original zombie (mentioned here earlier) was leaving a building just as my human friend was entering it. If either of them had been a couple seconds off in timing, my friend might not have remained a human.

As for an update on the original zombie, he has killed over a dozen humans so far alone; and the apocalypse has not even reached it's 24th hour. I am a little concerned for the future of humanity.

Story 7: My Roommate is Also a Zombie

(represented: Ms. K. Wowk, Mr. G. Taylor)

The human I was protecting last night is no longer a human. She was tackled by a chaotic evil zombie and killed. I mourn for her death. She was a decent human. It was probably the misfiring of her weapon that was her undoing, but she lived a good life and fought hard to remain human.

And now she will join their forces of brain smoothies.

We're screwed.

Story 8: Undead Zombies Can Fudge the Truth

(represented: Mr. E. Goff, Mr. M. Bonney)

Another friend died today. He was attacked by a friend who was turning into a zombie at the time he was being escorted. My friend had the misfortune of being around the zombie as he turned.

I saw this friend walking as a Dead Man when he was transforming, and I was about to go up to him and sympathize for his personal loss…until I remembered: he was dead.

I am afraid that most everyone's a zombie now. Most of my friends are, anyhow. Things are not looking good for human progression.

Story 9: Zombie Apocalypse NOW!

So….so…..so very much……blood. Chaos, everywhere. Damage, destruction..someone lost an arm! Things are certainly in disarray at the moment. There was..there was a mission..a mission for the humans to restore their communication's tower. But the zombies showed up everywhere. Humans tried to rush at them, some set up borders to keep them at bay. But…there was just too much death. The zombies were well-organized, and the humans weren't quick enough. A few of my friends made it out alive, but they didn't complete the mission. In order to save themselves, they fled.

Too many zombies and too few humans now..it is really not looking good. I have a friend who is fighting back and keeping his humanity, but I am afraid for his longevity.

The apocalypse is here. Don't fool yourself by being in denial.

Story 10: My Roommate's…a Human Again?

(represented: Ms. K. Wowk)

I am no longer living with a zombie.
A call this morning from a friend;
Simple. Urgent.
"Get back to your room. We need a gun."
My roommate was resurrected.
By the grace of "G.A.W.D", she is human again.
But, I fear
Her human life (part II) is numbered. There are too many past friends now that know she's living.
Bring back the brain cravings.
………to the horde.

Like THESE stories? Come view the extras in: Side Stories!!!

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